Deciding to get a COVID Vaccine is a very personal and challenging decision to make. Like many of you, I struggled through this decision. Since the pandemic started, I had low hopes a safe and effective vaccine would be developed in time to save us. I did not trust the current administration to use science to produce a safe and effective vaccine due to its incompetence and its ill manner of handling or not handling the pandemic. Unfortunately, politics played a significant role in trusting or not trusting the vaccine’s safety and efficacy. I would not trust nor would I administer to myself or other a vaccine pushed by the current administration. With the outcome of the November presidential elections, I regained some hope and trust. The fact that Pfizer and Moderna publicly announced their vaccine efficacy after the presidential election reassured me there was no political gain to either party. Nevertheless, I still had to pause and really analyze my own thought and feelings about the COVID vaccine. Without considering other opinions, I evaluated the current situation, what is essential, what I believe, what I stand for, and what risks I am willing to take.

We are currently devastated by the daily high number of seeing, hearing, and knowing people who have and continue to die from COVID. As a nurse, I lose part of myself every time I can’t save a human life. It is emotionally exhausting to frequently send patients to the emergency room, knowing they might not be discharged alive. I find myself trying to bargain with God; I ask to take their place or compromise because I believe in self-sacrifice for the greater good.

I am the kind of person who believes in self-sacrifice for the greater good. This is the reason I joined the Military in 2006. I knew I would join the Military when I saw live footage of the September 11 attack. I promise myself I would do everything in my power to keep my family safe and prevent similar attacks, even if it meant losing my life. I am not scared of death; I am afraid of losing my family and loved ones. I am fearful of not being able to protect them. I am fearful of losing human life. At that time, joining the Military was my best way to protect them. In present times, receiving the COVID vaccine is the best way to defend my family, loved ones, and everyone else.

I believe in science! Because of science, our parents, brother, sister, sons, daughters, and grandparents have survived cancer, heart attacks, strokes, etc. When there is no hope of a surviving chance, we are willing to try any “treatment in research” available or even sell our soul. Many have survived COVID because of science; conversely, many have died because there is no cure available. But science has come through and now has a “treatment in research available in the form of a vaccine. Though the vaccine does not save you when you are in critical condition due to COVID-19, it has shown to be 95% effective in preventing severe COVID-19 and death.

We do not know the long-term side effects of the vaccine. Yes, I do have my worries about the what if’s. However, I have no logic or science supporting my fears. My fears are the typical worries of “the unknown.” Still, there is no side effect I am not willing to risk for my family and loved ones’ safety. The COVID vaccine gives me hope of seeing my family frequently without fearing I might unknowingly pass the virus to them. The vaccine gives me hope my niece and nephews have a chance at a normal everyday life. Because of the hope, I am ready for the COVID vaccine.

-Bella Najera-Torres